Update fail!

I have become rubbish at updating my news. Maybe because it's all so familiar! IVF#12 was another BFN, and I have now gone back to our 2nd RE where we have 2 vials of sperm stored. He did a hyteroscopy and I started stims right away, this time with the antagonist protocol. I have had my first monitoring appointment and it is looking about the same as the last cycle to be honest. Five follicles of a reasonable size and a few tiny stragglers. I just hope that because of the way this RE does things, all 5 will be mature. And on, and on!

another 2ww drawing to a close

I am now 9dp4dt in my 12th fresh IVF cycle, 4th fresh since having my little boy. And it's that familiar feeling creeping in with 2 days left to wait. My boobs, which have been huge and hard, have softened and shrunk again. I feel like AF is on her way. Any little hope I had is drying up. And I have started to prepare myself for the inevitable BFN on Thursday. Planning for the disappointment and how I will deal with it. Thinking about our next move. We have 2 more vials of sperm in our home town, and 2 in the neighboring country. Cash is really tight, but my biological clock seems to be at about 5 to midnight and we can't waste time. Etc, etc, etc. My mind going into overdrive. Oh, let these 2 days go quickly.

Anyway, to recap, it was a pretty sucky cycle. They retrieved only 5 eggs, only 3 were mature and 2 fertilized. They were both still going on day 4, one perfect looking morula and one "more than 10 cells". I find it hard to accept that just last year I was getting 16 eggs and it has just divebombed so fast. I am tempted to go back to RE no. 2 (where our other vials are stored) and get a 2nd opinion about the stim cycles, if this shot fails.