Oh yes, I remember this. The 2ww. I am mentally perfectly fine during the first week, but physically ridiculously clumsy. I keep tripping over, banging into things and automatically thinking, "oh well, I've blown it." Then the second week comes along. I relax a bit physically - I mean it either implanted or it didn't - but fall to bits mentally. The internal dialogue starts. "Should I just POAS?" "No! It's too early!" "Yes, but you never know, you might get a nice surprise." "But I might get a nasty one too." "Let's just google 8dp5dt BFN and then BFP." "Great idea, but you already had that experience yourself when you got pregnant last time."
You get the gist. And then, if I have managed to avoid going into a pharmacy all week and therefore don't actually have any HPTs in the house, I get to today, 9dp5dt, and suddenly I'm all zen. I don't feel the urge to run out of the house, leaving the baby on his own, and buy 65 HPTs. I am still a little bit hopeful, even with our one little lonely morula, because I haven't started spotting yet. But I know that the odds are against us, and I know I'll be okay if it's negative. I have decided not to test until 11dp5dt (the day I got my BFP last time) and I will not be swayed.
So tomorrow afternoon I will go to the pharmacy and buy ONE test. If I buy 2 I will lose my cool and convince myself to test tomorrow, but if it's just one, I know I will wait until Thursday to test with FMU. And then, hopefully, I will be able to get some work done, whatever the result, because for the last 5 days I have been utterly useless.
You get the gist. And then, if I have managed to avoid going into a pharmacy all week and therefore don't actually have any HPTs in the house, I get to today, 9dp5dt, and suddenly I'm all zen. I don't feel the urge to run out of the house, leaving the baby on his own, and buy 65 HPTs. I am still a little bit hopeful, even with our one little lonely morula, because I haven't started spotting yet. But I know that the odds are against us, and I know I'll be okay if it's negative. I have decided not to test until 11dp5dt (the day I got my BFP last time) and I will not be swayed.
So tomorrow afternoon I will go to the pharmacy and buy ONE test. If I buy 2 I will lose my cool and convince myself to test tomorrow, but if it's just one, I know I will wait until Thursday to test with FMU. And then, hopefully, I will be able to get some work done, whatever the result, because for the last 5 days I have been utterly useless.
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